这几天和表弟在一起住。每当我放一个屁的时候,表弟都会问我:“哥,你刚才说啥?”我靠,我想了几天竟然都无言以对。跪求神回复啊,让我削了那小子。[Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."不速之客就在路上,我妈妈,一个完美的家庭主妇,正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后,当她去检查的时候,她吃惊了,曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条,纸条上写着:“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”[ 1、最不甘--周瑜:“既生瑜,何生亮!” 2、最狡诈--曹操:“设疑冢七十二,勿令后人知吾葬处,恐为人所发掘故也。” 3、最傲气--关羽:“碧眼小儿,紫髯鼠辈!吾与刘皇叔桃园结义,誓扶汉室,岂与汝叛汉之贼为伍耶!我今误中奸计,有死而已,何必多言!” 4、最虚伪--刘备:“君才十倍曹丕,必能安邦定国,终定大事。若嗣子可辅,则辅之;如其不才,君可自为成都之主。” 5、最愚蠢--魏延:“谁敢杀我?!” 6、最悲凉--姜维:“吾计不成,乃天命也!”(孔明死后,姜维八次伐魏,最后自刎而死) 7、最搞笑--董卓:“吾儿奉先何在?”(说完这句,董卓就为吕布所杀) 8、最痛心--华佗:“我今将死,恨有《青囊书》未传于世……”(华佗将《青襄书》赠予吴押狱,结果吴妻在家焚书,理由是:“纵然学得与华佗一般神奇,只落得死于牢中,要它何用!”)
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