简介:
1、⛅⭐⭐⛅On my first day of classes at my university I took a front-row seat in my literature course. The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began, "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance.大学的第一天,文学课我坐在了前排。教授告诉我们这学期必须得读五本书,他提供我们可供选择的作者名单。随后他缓步走上讲台,拿出课本,“贝克、布莱克、布鲁斯、卡特、库克…”为了写下所有的名字,我不得不疯狂的作着记录。这时有人轻轻的拍我肩膀,坐在我后面的学生悄悄告诉我:“他在点名呢。”[
2、⛅⭐⭐⛅马科斯来到餐厅,像以往那样点了饭菜。侍者端上饭菜,马科斯三下五除二扒进口中,又前后顾盼,若有所需。侍者忙趋步上前:“先生,我能为您效劳吗?”“其他饭菜怎么还不上来?”“已经上完了,先生。”马科斯大惊:“贵餐厅的饭菜,怎么给得这么少?”“哦,这是您的视觉问题——我们刚刚扩建了餐厅。”[
3、⛅⭐⭐⛅“儿子,今天相亲你就别开车去了,万一人家姑娘没看上人看上车了怎么办?”“妈,您确实人姑娘会看上咱家雅迪?”[
4、⛅⭐⭐⛅今天拉着妹子去开房,万般激动打开房间门一看,床塌了。果断找前台去问:“你们房间床塌了。”前台:“先生,这需要照价赔偿的。”气的我,脑抽来一句:“我还没上床呢,不信你调监控。”前台眼珠子都瞪圆了:“你咋知道房间里面装的摄像头。”我:“……”[
5、⛅⭐⭐⛅太太结婚多年没有孩子,她天天祷告,希望生个儿子。祷告果然灵验,太太终于生了个儿子,但长得很难看。太太对丈夫说
1、⛅⭐⭐⛅On my first day of classes at my university I took a front-row seat in my literature course. The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began, "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance.大学的第一天,文学课我坐在了前排。教授告诉我们这学期必须得读五本书,他提供我们可供选择的作者名单。随后他缓步走上讲台,拿出课本,“贝克、布莱克、布鲁斯、卡特、库克…”为了写下所有的名字,我不得不疯狂的作着记录。这时有人轻轻的拍我肩膀,坐在我后面的学生悄悄告诉我:“他在点名呢。”[
2、⛅⭐⭐⛅马科斯来到餐厅,像以往那样点了饭菜。侍者端上饭菜,马科斯三下五除二扒进口中,又前后顾盼,若有所需。侍者忙趋步上前:“先生,我能为您效劳吗?”“其他饭菜怎么还不上来?”“已经上完了,先生。”马科斯大惊:“贵餐厅的饭菜,怎么给得这么少?”“哦,这是您的视觉问题——我们刚刚扩建了餐厅。”[
3、⛅⭐⭐⛅“儿子,今天相亲你就别开车去了,万一人家姑娘没看上人看上车了怎么办?”“妈,您确实人姑娘会看上咱家雅迪?”[
4、⛅⭐⭐⛅今天拉着妹子去开房,万般激动打开房间门一看,床塌了。果断找前台去问:“你们房间床塌了。”前台:“先生,这需要照价赔偿的。”气的我,脑抽来一句:“我还没上床呢,不信你调监控。”前台眼珠子都瞪圆了:“你咋知道房间里面装的摄像头。”我:“……”[
5、⛅⭐⭐⛅太太结婚多年没有孩子,她天天祷告,希望生个儿子。祷告果然灵验,太太终于生了个儿子,但长得很难看。太太对丈夫说
6、⛅⭐⭐⛅公共浴室外面,一妇女拉着她的儿子要进浴室。儿子便问:“妈妈,我什么时候才能不去女浴室洗澡?”旁边一美女说道:“等你想进女浴室的时候!”[
7、⛅⭐⭐⛅和男友一起逛街。逛久了无比尿急,找了好久都没有找到厕所。 转了几圈之后终于找到一个残疾人专用厕所,门没锁。 我正在犹豫时,男友说:“快进去啊!脑残也是残疾的一种!” 然后我就进去了……[
8、⛅⭐⭐⛅刚才仓库姐姐接儿子下幼儿园接到办公室(仓库姐姐怀着第二胎)…玩着玩着她儿子就跑出去了,许久没回来,同事就说:xx,你儿子不见了…她淡定的说了一句:丢就丢了,反正肚子里还有一个……还有一个…是亲妈…?![
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